Durk Pearson & Sandy Shaw’s®
Life Extension NewsTM
Volume 14 No. 4 • September 2011

Looking for a Few Good Laughs

We are always on the lookout for funny/amusing quotes and funny brief items to report here to lighten an unavoidably technical publication. However, it seems to be getting more and more difficult to find genuinely funny things to include. Even The Wall Street Journal has become mostly full of grim news and gloomy uninspiring editorials. If you run into some funny stuff that you think we might like to include in this newsletter (or that might just contribute a chortle or even a guffaw to our day), please feel free to send it to us care of Life Enhancement Products. Thank you.

I’m deeply honoured, but a bit confused. I was only ever a B-cup.
— Diana Rigg, on being voted the sexiest television star ‘of all time’ by Americans, The Times, 3 May 1999

(D&S Comment: Don’t make the mistake of confusing cup size with being sexy.)

My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents ... is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
— Robert Benchley

When politics are used to allocate resources, the resources all end up being allocated to politics.
— P. J. O’Rourke

For new drugs, the proper comparison is not risk versus benefit but rather risk versus risk—that is, the risk of doing nothing (which may have a deadly outcome), versus the risk of taking a preventive drug for long periods.
— Michael B. Sporn

Another canard is that cancer prevention efforts are not cost-effective. The argument is that the number of lives saved with a preventive drug would be too small with respect to the total number of people who need treatment. But this is a curious perspective. The number of houses destroyed by fire is trivial compared with the total number of houses, and yet almost every homeowner insures against fire. The conceptual problem here is that everyone doesn’t die of cancer in a short period; this is a lifetime problem.
— Michael B. Sporn, professor of pharmacology, Dartmouth Medical School, Hanover, NH in “The Big C—for Chemoprevention” in the 24 March 2011 Nature

... we will unshackle you ... but you must stand or fall on your own just like the rest of us on Main Street.
— Sarah Palin, from her speech of 9/3/11 outlining a five point plan to revive America’s economy, in which her attack on “crony capitalism” was especially notable

“Crony capitalism” is not capitalism at all, but a form of state fascism in which taxpayer money is distributed to favored big businesses and big banks; “crony capitalism” shows up in the agendas of the leading Republican candidates (including Romney and Perry) for President. We don’t trust these guys with our money any more than Obama and won’t vote for them. (Actually, we don’t entirely trust anyone running for President and would rather not vote for any of them.)

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