Durk Pearson & Sandy Shaw’s®
Life Extension NewsTM
Volume 16 No. 2 • February 2013


Appetizers

The main difference for the history of the world if I had been shot rather than Kennedy is that Onassis probably wouldn’t have married Mrs. Khrushchev.
— Nikita Khrushchev

After The Wizard of Oz I was typecast as a lion, and there aren’t all that many parts for lions.
— Bert Lahr

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. “You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?” she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, “I didn’t know there were any witnesses. Now I’ll have to kill you, too.”
— Jake Johannsen

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
— Erma Bombeck

How small of all that human hearts endure That part which laws or kings can cause or cure!
— Samuel Johnson

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