The Durk Pearson & Sandy Shaw®
Life Extension NewsTM
Volume 16 No. 8 • September 2013

Your Physics Lesson for Today

Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving, and get pulled over. Heisenberg, in the driver’s seat, is asked by the officer, “do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replies, “No, but I know exactly where I am.” The officer looks at him confused and says, “you were going 108 miles per hour!” Heisenberg throws up his arms and cries, “Great! Now I’m lost.”

The officer, now more confused than ever, orders the two men out of the car, and proceeds to inspect the vehicle. He opens the trunk and yells at the two men, “Hey! Did you guys know you have a dead cat back here?” Schrodinger angrily yells back, “We do now, jerk!”

The Problem with Learning Physics from Jokes
Is That Unless You Already Know the Physics,
You Won’t Get the Punch Line

OK. The Heisenberg uncertainty principle shows mathematically that you cannot know both your momentum AND your location at the same time. The police officer did not know that. The Schrodinger wave equation shows that, in order to determine whether, in your universe, the cat in your trunk is alive or dead, you have to take a look, otherwise you don’t know. The cop didn’t know that, either. The moral of this story is: Never expect a dumb cop to have a clue about physics. Your best bet is to fail to arrive at the pullout at the same time as the cop. You can blame it on Heisenberg. The cop will have you point blank on the speed violation but won’t have a clue whether you were in the speed zone at the time. In the meantime, the cat has died and the stench will act as a cop repellant as the Schrodinger equation waives the cop’s authority out of existence.


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